6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
