4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
