Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
