Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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