I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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