if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Randomize
