I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
