marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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