I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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