Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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