first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
