Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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