last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
