in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
