Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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