Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.

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(647): View more from Ontario

he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it

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(480): View more from Arizona

New game: find the sober person in Tbell

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(317): View more from Indiana

having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween

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(806): View more from Texas

Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.

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(817): View more from Texas

you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with

(214): View more from Texas

Did it work?

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