I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
