Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
