tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
