i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
