My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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