your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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