wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
