Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There's always time for handjobs
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
