Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
