she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
