I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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