You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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