I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
