Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
