oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
babies were throwing up all over the place
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Randomize
