So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
