i jhust puked up my retainher.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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