sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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