Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
