wat bout pragnant strippers??
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
