girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
