He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
