He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
