Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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