All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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