remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
