Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i will never coherently bang her
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
