Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
