Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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