In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
