I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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