After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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