I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
