Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
